Family Goals

Yesterday I set out my personal goals. Today is a family day and so, with a coffee in hand, I’m taking some time to set my own goals for my relationships with family (and friends…I consider many of them family!).

To say yes to creating moments.

This morning I started reading Shonda Rhimes’ book, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person. In the first chapter, her sister Delorse says to Shonda, “You never say yes to anything.”

Over the past few years, I’ve gotten a bit too comfortable saying no to things. I started saying no more often in an effort to find my own space and take care of myself. It was a practice of self-care.

My second thought comes after skimming through photos of 2020. I’ve been seeing everyone’s “Top 9” posts (finding your top 9 photos of the year) and thought I’d try. I figured that there probably weren’t nine really meaningful moments in 2020 given that merely surviving this year was a blessing. Turns out that choosing ONLY nine moments (and their associated photos) is really, really hard. And that is truly the blessing of this year (and, if I’m going to be honest, every year).

Even though I’m lucky enough to have had many beautiful, meaningful moments in my 2020, I want to say yes a little bit more often in 2021. Not so often that I stretch myself too thin; just often enough to tuck a few more moments into the year.

• If K asks me to do something and I said no the last time, I will say yes.
• If K and I haven’t done a “something” in the past week, I will create a something for us to do.

To do something small daily for someone else.

K is always tells me that he shows his love in small ways, and it’s true. It’s not flowers or jewelry (because, well, he knows me). It’s hearing me. I’m often blown away by what he hears in my words and by the actions he takes to surprise me or do something special just for me.

Let’s be honest, thought: sometimes I feel selfish. There it is. I said it. In the past, I’ve come close to breaking because I’ve given too much of myself. I have had to practice doing the things and taking the time I need to be the best me I can be. It’s been hard, and it’s been a journey. And now that I’m here, I feel selfish sometimes. Intellectually, I know I’m not selfish but I still feel selfish sometimes.

And so, I’m on a mission to find some balance. To feel less selfish but not to lose myself by giving all of me to everyone else.

• If I notice something I can do for someone else, I will do it, at least once a day.

To been more diligent about our budgeting and bookkeeping.

To round out 2020, we found out that K’s long-awaited wrist surgery has finally been scheduled for June 2, 2021. (Recall that he broke his wrist at work on August 2, 2019. He’s been on worker’s compensation since.)

What does a broken wrist have to do with budgeting and bookkeeping? I expect that K will be going back to work 4-6 weeks after his surgery. This means another change in our cash flow, so it means better planning and thinking about money.

I’m also looking at getting organized to do our taxes and promising myself not to leave the data entry and bookkeeping until the last minute again this year. No more of that nonsense, Gertsch. No more.

• If we spend a dollar, we will ensure we have a receipt, which we’ll scan and upload for E to enter.
• If month-end comes and there are a few receipts that have been missed, we will collect them and send them to E.

Until my next post. Be well. Stay safe.

F.

P.S. From a “habit tracker” point of view, today I have meditated for 10 minutes, read for 10 minutes, and even written something.